Hidden Dangers
I love watching the little news teasers they play during the day - trying to get you to watch the 11 o’clock news: “What beverage in your household is causing cancer...
Movie Review: Hot Tub Time Machine
In the spirit of the 80’s theme of the movie this will be an interactive, choose-your-own-adventure type of review. I think this movie will benefit from this approach...
Lemon Garlic Pork Chops with Caramelized Onions Finished watching Daybreakers and wanted some dinner so I checked my freezer and found some Omaha Steaks pork chops. I am not a big fan of pork chops generally but my wife...
Movie Review: The Lovely Bones
The Lovely Bones is an ambitious film with a great story and a wonderful cast and I say this even though Mark Wahlberg is in it. Peter Jackson deserves credit for taking...
I have always wanted to make my own pasta. Whenever I go to a restaurant that offers it I’ll pay the additional dollar to get it. Light and fresh – it is delicious and you can really tell the difference.
It always seemed like a production to me so I avoided it until the perfect time – although I never really knew when that would be. I think I was avoiding it. As it turns out the avoidance was simply kitchen fear. I should not have been afraid.
True – it takes a couple of times to make it really palatable – but it’s fun to make and easy so give it a shot already!
Searching Google again and I stumbled upon this recipe. Tried it that very night and Nicole said ‘Hot damn, honeychilde – you knocked this one out the park!’ Please note that Nicole is not Southern so the accent struck me as odd. Hmm. Anyway – it is virtually impossible to make this incorrectly so give it a try. Maybe your significant other will become Southern too!
This is one of my favorite Friday night meals. I think it would be absolutely heavenly with a sprinkling of gorgonzola, but haven’t dared take it to that level yet.
Steak with Caramelized Onions in Red Wine
Serves 2
Ingredients:
2 nice NY Strip steaks
1 medium sweet onion
1 tbs. oil
1/2 c. good red wine
salt and pepper
Directions:
Take steaks out and prep for cooking, however you desire. Generally, we rub them with a bit of olive oil and a pinch of Montreal steak seasoning.
Slice the onion into thin rings. Heat oil over medium heat in skillet.
Cook the onions until a nice golden brown, about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Stir in the red wine and season with salt and pepper. Cook onions in wine until most of the wine has evaporated or been absorbed, about 5-10 minutes. The onions should be a pretty purple with just a bit of syrupy liquid. Turn heat to low, stir occasionally.
Cook steaks however you like. We usually throw them on the grill on medium high for a few minutes, but you could use a broiler or grill pan. Whatever works.
Remove steaks from heat and allow them to rest. Pour yourself a glass of the remaining wine, top the steak with onions and serve.
I am always searching for new ways to make scrambled eggs. Google helped out yet again and delivered this recipe which is delicious. Buttery soft eggs with a wonderfully light texture. I hope you like them as much as I did. These are my eggs every weekend.
The process is a simple one. Slow and steady wins the race.
In a bowl, gently whisk the eggs with salt, pepper and a couple of tablespoons of cream. You want to incorporate the ingredients just enough so the colors swirl, but not enough to make it frothy.
Melt a generous chunk of butter in a large skillet. Reduce to the lowest of low heat settings and pour the mixture in, stirring, nay folding, only occasionally to prevent the bottoms from sticking to the pan. Depending on the heat of your stove, twenty-ish minutes later, the end result should be the eggs have slightly firmed up – but still look a little wet.
Serve these buttery scrambled eggs with warm biscuits spread with butter and jam. Right before they hit the table, fold in another tablespoon of butter until it melts. Just because you can.
A few additional ground rules for optimal egg-eating:
Eggs need to be eaten moments after leaving the pan. Never eat cold eggs (unless they’re deviled) – lest I remind you of those scrambled tawny lumps in chafing dishes seen from sea to shining Marriott pool.
I love watching the little news teasers they play during the day – trying to get you to watch the 11 o’clock news: “What beverage in your household is causing cancer in you right now? Tune in at 11 to find out!”
WTF? When did reporting the news require holding it hostage? Back in my day (like, 2 years ago) when you found out something helpful to the world you reported it right away – you didn’t tease and hold it for ransom (in this case – ratings).
If you have a cure for cancer I want to know about it right now – not at 11PM. I may not have time for Christ’s sake.
You know what would be helpful? Some sort of medium where you could get news out instantly – without censorship and deadlines or making people wait for when you were ready to dispense it. Something electronic for speed and widespread viewership…hmm – well – I can’t claim to have all the answers but it seems to me there must be another way…
Have you ever felt alone? Do you read comic books and make teenage girls uncomfortable? Have you ever felt that there was more to this life than just awkwardness and loneliness? Are you aware of the world record for number of questions to open a movie review? Have you ever wanted to be a superhero?
Based on the comic book by Mark Millar, KICK-ASS tells the origin story of Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) who decides that he’s had enough of his current, stale living situation. What makes it stale? He spends his days masturbating to National Geographics and his English teacher’s unrestrained middle-aged bombs. When not eating dinner in silence with his Dad, he goes to the comic book store with his two nerd friends – one of whom is the up-and-coming Clarke Duncan from Sex Drive and Hot Tub Time Machine. He wonders aloud why the role of superhero has not been filled by anyone in real life. His friends laugh at him and tell him he’s crazy – that anyone who tried it would be dead before the end of the day. Dave doesn’t think so. Dave thinks it’s time for a hero that people can believe in. Dave has an Amazon Prime account and a lust for green neoprene scuba suits. And so we begin.
Watching Dave in disguise as KICK-ASS as he comes upon his first group of ruffians is exhilarating. You can feel the adrenaline coursing through his body as he enters the fray. Hell, I had the same 6-pack of 5-Hour Energy feeling just watching him prepare for battle. Haven’t we all had this fantasy of being a superhero and curb-stomping our way through the crime-ridden areas of our cities? It would be so freaking GREAT! This movie pumps you up and then makes you want to get up and punch a politician.
Meanwhile, Dave’s heroic battle is caught on video and uploaded to YouTube. A phenomenon is born not seen since that kid who was on meth after his dentist appointment. People are excited, people are talking, and people are inspired. Suddenly the criminals of the city have other superheroes to worry about: Big Daddy and Hit Girl. Big Daddy is Batman with a hangover and early onset dementia played wonderfully by a suddenly resurgent Nick Cage. He has been picking the right roles lately. Hit Girl… needs her own paragraph.
Hit Girl is an 11 year old, dockside sailor-mouthed killing machine who would give Jet Li a run for his money. A one-girl death squad with a Hello Kitty backpack stuffed with guns and knives, she piles up bodies like a snowplow. She can take a beating also – which admittedly was a little uncomfortable to watch. She is a great character and I would love to see more of her.
Is there a bad guy in this film? Sure, but who cares? This movie is a vehicle for kids to KICK-ASS and KICK-ASS they do. KICK-ASS has a frenetic pace, a stylish look, bawdy dialogue, some great casting choices and is topped by a great soundtrack. Kill Bill with kids describes this film to a large degree. And that is a good thing. You should have a great time during this movie as you discover what it’s like to be a superhero. Does this green scuba suit make me look fat? 3 stars.
In the spirit of the 80’s theme of the movie this will be an interactive, choose-your-own-adventure type of review. I think this movie will benefit from this approach due to the 80’s cultural references so let’s begin:
1. Did you live in the 80’s between the ages of 12 and 20?
Welcome to the first edition of Lesson for Morons. Here I will attempt to educate the world’s morons on proper etiquette that they can use in their daily lives. These tutorials will range far and wide, leaving no stone unturned in dealing with the many moronic behaviors of the typical moron.
The Lovely Bones is an ambitious film with a great story and a wonderful cast and I say this even though Mark Wahlberg is in it. Peter Jackson deserves credit for taking on this story and Mark Wahlberg as many of the fantasy elements from the both the book and Wahlberg’s persona would be difficult for other directors to pull off (what’s up M. Night?). Being a master of fantasy he handles it as well as anyone, but it has some issues which detract mightily from its final score. More on that in a minute.
